It's when you look at yourself in the mirror and realise you're no longer that skinny anorexic. The one people said was too thin, the one people offered food and you turned away. The one who got questioned about why you wearn't eating. The one people worried about. It's when you look at yourself in… Continue reading Anorexia and me: A battle of wills
Today I recived a letter saying college had referred me to the eating disorder services. I'm meant to phone to book an assessment but I don't think I will. Why may you ask? You may also feel like I don't accept help yet moan when I don't get it and not like me because of that.… Continue reading Going it alone?
I've come to some realisations over the last few days: I dont really want to recover from my eatig disorder. And that is because it is a safety net to me. Now let me explain.... I feel safe in my eating disorder, in restriction. I feel like no one can hurt me and no one… Continue reading A Safety Net?
I pretended I was recovered, said I was recovered. But now, falling into a relapse and not knowing what to do I realise I never was recovered. Even at my most recovered, even when I was happy. I still had those eating disordred thoughts. I still wouldnt touch pick and mix because god knows how many… Continue reading Was I lying to myself all along?