Today I recived a letter saying college had referred me to the eating disorder services. I’m meant to phone to book an assessment but I don’t think I will. Why may you ask? You may also feel like I don’t accept help yet moan when I don’t get it and not like me because of that.
It is true that I am not good at accepting help but thats not why I’m not going to phone to book an assessment.
I’m not phoning because I can work on this on my own. I’ve increased my calories and yes it is incedibly hard especially with the constant cravings, bloating and my bottomless pit of a stomach. But I think where I am right now I can get myself out of this mess myself. With the support of people online and my friend.
I think an assessment is going to be counter-productive. Why? I know your thinking that. Because it will involve weight and detailed info about behaviours. I’ll therefore feel pressured to be as thin as possible and eat as little as possible so they belive me. It seems like an absolutly ridiculous thing to do really. To get worse to get better.I managed to get myself well enough before so I can do it again.
Thats my opinion to this anyway. I was in a dark place but I’m lifting myself out which I can do and am prfectly capable of because I am strong.