chronic fatigue · eating disorder recovery

What it really feels like to be Chronically Fatigued.

It’s the worst thing when you open up to something about your chronic fatigue when there response is “I get tired too.”

“I get tired too.” Is nothing compared to what we feel.

Chronic fatigue is this relentless exhaustion. Like nothing you’ve ever felt before. It’s sleeping 9+ hours a night and still struggling to even complete basic tasks, like showering on the worst days. It’s being so fatigued that sitting up can feel like running a marathon and even watching the simplest of TV shows can be impossible to follow.

It’s struggling to walk even 10 minutes down the road without your legs feeling heavy, without feeling like you may just collapse from exhaustion right there in the middle of the street.

Breaks from chronic fatigue are short lived. You may feel good for a couple of hours, not even good. But better. Functional is more the term to use. And then you will be overwhelmed by it, excited by it and end up overdoing it. That overdoing it throws you straight back into that horrendous fatigue where it feels like you can’t even accomplish getting out of bed.

The worst part is the mental side. Mentally you want to do things, be productive. You have the drive but your body will just refuse to function to the capacity you want it to. There’s only so much pushing through that one person can do. Then there’s the guilt and the shame because everyone else around you is moving on. Making things of their lives. While your mostly stuck in bed, struggling through basic tasks. The shame hits you more on the good days, though. Despite the fact that one good day means nothing.

Being chronically fatigued is hard to manage. It can’t just be fixed by drinking coffee, exercising, eating right or getting adequate sleep. Managing chronic fatigue involves finding the right formula of treatments that work for you. That reduce your symptoms just that bit more for your life to become more normal again.

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